In a lecture late in his life at the academy in Kroton, Xenophanes of Colophôn proposed that geese worship a god that looks like a goose. Although the company listening to the venerable philosopher that night was impressed by so original an insight, we now know it to be wholly speculative. Geese, it turns out, are quite like Baptists : they have more worldly matters on their minds. Like honking at others. And terrorizing children.