The only necessary link between sex and reproduction is an unwanted pregnancy.

In the future, optimism will merely be a euphemism for denial.

Parents have trouble understanding their kids because they anthropomorphize them. Stop mistaking your kids for human beings and they'll make a lot more sense.

"God and I have our differences. But we both agree on one thing : the right to bear semi-automatic firearms is your constitutionally protected right." -- The Devil

It is true, as I imagine the chair of the NRA would be happy to remind us, that french fries or cigarettes kill more children every year than firearms. But it's not the death that we object to. Every child is going to die eventually. It is, rather, the circumstances. Too sudden, too spectacular, ...

The meek shall inherit the earth. Then, at the next opportunity, they shall return it to the control of the leisure class in a misunderstanding of the marginal benefit provided by a small deduction in their taxes.

The origins of genius are obscure. Read "friend" or "business associate" or "irresponsible shit" where that special word is used and they will be less so.